More Gems From The Boss

Below are some more gems taken from actual emails and memos written by my boss. Why do I post them here? I really really need a way to vent. I also feel the need to show others what I have to put up with so they can begin to understand what a painful experience it is for me to come in to work every day.

There is only one thing I ask from those of you who visit here: if you know who I really am, do not ever reveal it. As you can see, I get pretty indignant when talking about the boss, and I don't want to get fired until I'm sure I have another job to replace this one. So if you haven't heard it before, I'm telling you now: my anonymity is absolutely necessary in order to keep this thing alive. Feel free to link to this blog and invite your friends to do so as well. I have found that my misfortune in the boss department translates into pure hilarity for those of you who don't have to work for the guy. So if you feel like sharing, please do. That's why this thing is public.

With that bidness out of the way, I have a host of new grammatical atrocities for your reading pleasure. Check 'em out (forvigve the library pun):

When attendig the front desk, take time to tiddy the front counter as needed, shelf read the reserve stacks, and other
(I have never been asked to tiddy anything in the library, and I'm pretty sure I'd sue for sexual harrassment if anybody asked me to)

Yes, while news sources bring up issues worthy of analysis, how they context the information, verification of sources, and other go a long way to how much weight is put towards their take of events being authentic
(I checked the dictionary and found that the word "context" is indeed a noun and not a verb. I should also mention that the boss man does not fight fair when it comes to debating politics. He makes up facts, quotes news sources from countries with no indoor plumbing, and refuses to concede any point even when faced with a staggering amount of evidence that he is wrong. The above quote and the quotes below all come from an email in which he was questioning the validity of an article that appeared in the Boston Herald. Did I mention that my boss is a Rush-head type Republican? He doesn't believe anything bad that has ever been said about any republican since the dawn of time)

The last two elections showed very close elections.
(The elections were showing elections? Were there sub-elections, or are the elections starting to procreate?)

the current candidates are playing to the base of their respective parities
(I take it the current candidates are fans of the NFL's salary cap system)

That means they may context facts to best showcase those they like and context facts to show others in a disfavored way.
(Now he's trying to explain the concept of bias in news sources. I became aware of bias in news reporting when I was in 4th grade. I noticed that the Weekly Reader did not reflect the über conservative political views of my parents. This is yet another example of how he likes to speak down to those of use who work for him. It'll really drain your will to live. Anyway, in this quote we see him giving the word "context" another cameo as a verb and choosing to use the word "disfavored" instead of the correct "unfavorable")

News sources that are unapologetically liberal or conservative clues to you their general leanings on politics
(So you're telling me that liberal news sources are liberal wheras conservative sources are conservative? I'm glad I have someone to clues me in on things like this)